Quiet and Shy Behaviour (Introversion)

Quiet and shy behaviour afflict many children at some time in their lives. It is natural for children to feel awkward, reticent, uneasy, or disoriented in situations that are new, frightening, or overwhelming in some manner. Some children experience a phase of shyness during pre-school years in situations where they feel outnumbered. Children respond shyly to new situations until they have warmed up. This warming up may take minutes, hours, or multiple experiences with the new situation.

But, in some extreme cases, shyness prevents a child even from regular conduct of study in school or from participating in family get-togethers. Shy children remain silent or look only at the ground around unfamiliar people or in new situations, even when they are encouraged to speak. They refuse to enter a new setting such as a classroom without being accompanied by a parent. They find it difficult to participate in athletic or dance activities. They go to great lengths to avoid calling attention to them. Shy children do not interact with strange persons or situations because of their fear although they look forward to it.

There are, however, a different category of children who choose solitary over social activities by preference and not out of fear. This class of children is called introverts. Introverts show little or no interest in observing others and little or no excitement when approached by others. Introversion is a trait of human personality.

• Extreme shyness prevents children from behaving normally in schools or participating in family get-togethers.
• Shy children remain silent or look only at the ground around unfamiliar people or in new situations.
• They need to constantly be accompanied by a parent while entering a new setting such as a classroom.
• They refuse to participate in athletic or dance activities.
• They try to avoid calling attention to them.
• The reason for such aversion is fear in the case of shy children.
• In case of introverts, the aversion shown is by preference.

About 20% of children have a genetic tendency to be naturally shy. Life experiences also play a major role in shaping shyness among children. When children are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, the manner in which they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations.

Shyness among children can also be caused due to low attachment bond between parents and children. It can be a result of poor acquisition of social skills by the children.

And finally, harsh and frequent teasing or criticising of children by the parents, siblings, or others has very adverse effects on them. This aggravates their shy behaviour. Introversion is, however, a trait of personality and can not be altered fully. These children, however, can be given counselling to teach them ways to overcome drawbacks of introversion.
 

Extreme shyness among children can be overcome by changing the parents’ interactions with them. Try to prevent labeling of your child as “shy.” Children who are told that they are shy tend to start thinking of them as shy and then fulfill the role, without making any effort to change.

Expose children to unfamiliar settings and people. A gradual exposure of shy children to interactions with unfamiliar people helps them to build confidence. Involve children in a group activity that they enjoy, such as a library programme if they like reading, a dance class if they enjoy dancing or a science day camp if they like science.

Tell the children about your own stories about times when you were shy and how you got rid of it. Reward the children for outgoing behaviour either with praise or something which they like but is not usually served to them. The above also apply to introvert children.

In case, you have tried all the above and you think your child is responding inadequately, Jiva has a practical solution. We provide you consultation for this kind of problem. Do contact Jiva at 0129-4294888 or write to us at asksteve@jiva.com. We will try our best to give a solution to your child’s problem with our expertise.

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